We were waiting.  

We found a house.   Small. Huge yard.  South Los Angeles. We told our wonderful real estate agent to put together an offer.  There was a flurry of lining up the right assets. Then the waiting.

Everyone is nervous but we all express it differently.   The man is grumpier than usual. The tiny child hibernated with her cats.  The youngest dove into social media.

Me?  I didn’t know what I was feeling. Yesterday was intense.   My body felt the extra activity and adrenaline but I was too restless to relax.   So I dragged my youngest out and we were at Friday’s in the middle of the afternoon.

I drank an outrageously priced drink.   It is delicious and I really didn’t begrudge the cost ….. but I noted it.

I don’t drink often.   When I do, I enjoy it immensely.  That day was a divergence from traditional margaritas and mojitos: a Grey Goose Cranberry Limeade.   It was bright and fruity. It was very much adult Kool-Ade. It was perfect. It had dark cherries and lime wedges in it.   It really was a kid’s drink in adult form.

There is a lot of talk about healing your hurt inner child.  I definitely understand the importance of that therapeutic activity.  Equally important but often neglected by many of us is letting our inner child out to play.  I think a significant factor in this neglect is our misunderstanding of play.

We often harbor a parental view of play.  Not only is it an activity for children but it is something we are supposed to outgrow.  We view play as a waste of time. It’s an activity while children grow up enough to do real life.  We may understand that play is a child’s work but that understanding implies that play will be replaced with a job.  Unfortunately most people don’t have as much fun at work as a child does at play.

At some point, we learned to dread the coming of the week.  Monday became a negative word as it symbolized a return to our jobs and adult responsibility.  Even if you don’t work a traditional week, you have some version of Monday. The excitement of going out to play – or even staying in to play – was lost in the daily grind.  All the more reason why we need regular play in our life.

Let me clarify.  By play, I am not referring to adult escape activities such as getting buzzed or smashed with our friends.  I’m not talking about binge watching a show or binge eating your way through a half gallon of ice cream. I’m not talking about healthier escapes either.  Play is not when you run or work out until you have your exercise high. It’s not manically cleaning your house to work out your anxiety or stress.

Play is . . . . play.  It is fun. It is joyful.  It’s not an escape – quite the opposite.  When you play, you are fully in the moment.   The tricky part for most adults is that play isn’t about what you do.  Play is an attitude to what you are doing. Any activity can be a form of play.  It’s about how you do it.

So yes, that afternoon at Friday’s enjoying a yummy drink was play.  It was also an important reminder that during stressful times I need play more than ever.  Here’s the thing – life is always stressful. That means we always need play. We need activities both large and small that bring us bursts of joy.  We need things that make us smile – not in accomplishment but just because they are fun.